So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
