are you still at the devil's house?
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
