having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
