I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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