O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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