We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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