Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Text me some of your sweat
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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