Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
