you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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