I think i sorta joined a cult last night
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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