By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
