Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
