what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
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