I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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