i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
