I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Randomize
