apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
True strength comes from lack of pants
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
