I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
