you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Randomize
