I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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