Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
