Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
