Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
