I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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