The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
