So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
