Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
