no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Operation Purity has been aborted
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
