Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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