The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Randomize
