Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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