Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
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