a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
