I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
