He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
