if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
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