how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Randomize
