I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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