I'm really into asian looking animals
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
