WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
