HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Randomize
