He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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