Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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