upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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