im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
