it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
