Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
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