It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
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