Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Its about making memories worth repressing
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
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