Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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