The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
My liver just had a heart attack.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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