We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
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